I Just Got Engaged… Now What?
The Wedding Advice No One Wants to Tell You (From a Wedding Photographer Who Will).
You’ve booked the venue.
You’ve started the Pinterest board.
Someone has already asked what your colors are.
This isn’t a wedding planning checklist.
I’m Ashley, a Pittsburgh-based editorial wedding photographer who’s spent the last decade documenting celebrations with intention across Pittsburgh, the East Coast, and beyond.
After photographing hundreds of weddings, I’ve seen a few things. I’ve formed a few opinions, too. The kind that quietly creep into your thoughts after spending years behind the scenes of wedding days. So I wrote them down.
Some are practical. Some are expensive. Some are mildly controversial.
Take what serves you.
01.
Your Engagement Session Isn’t for Save-the-Dates.
It’s rehearsal.
More importantly, it’s getting to know your wedding day photographer.
No, your proposal photos don’t count.
Do you even remember what they said? How they directed you? Probably not.
And if your best friend just bought a camera and offered to take your engagement photos for free, don’t skip the session with the photographer you trusted enough to document one of the biggest days of your life.
Especially if it’s complimentary.
Your engagement session isn’t about proving you have photos together.
It’s about learning how your photographer works before there’s only one chance to get it right.
02.
Your Photographer Doesn’t Need to be Familiar with the Venue.
They need to know how to prepare.
The best photographers don’t wing it.
They build timelines.
Study the light.
Walk the property.
Talk with the planner.
Have a rain plan before there’s rain.
I’d take someone who prepares over someone who’s photographed the venue twenty times and assumes every wedding is the same.
03.
Book Your Hair & Makeup Trial on Engagement Session Day.
You’re already paying for it.
You might as well get professional photos too.
04.
Wear White.
Your engagement photos don’t end when the session does.
They become your save-the-dates.
Your welcome party.
Your wedding website.
Your seating display.
The walls of your home.
Dress like they’ll be around for a while.
05.
Spend the Money Where It Actually Shows.
Florals.
Linens.
Lighting.
The custom bar.
The elevated, upgraded dance floor.
No one has ever walked into a beautifully designed reception and thought, “They really should’ve spent more on the charger plates.”
06.
The Black & White Checkered Dance Floor is the answer.
If you’re debating between custom cocktail napkins and the checkered dance floor…
Choose the floor.
It transforms the entire space—and your photographs—far beyond whatever standard flooring the venue does (or doesn’t) provide. We don’t love the brown dance floor.
07.
Book the Welcome Party Coverage.
Your wedding shows what it looked like.
Your welcome party shows who everyone is.
08.
Book the Better Hotel Suite.
Your $30 matching robes won’t fix fluorescent lighting.
Windows will.
09.
Schedule Hair & Makeup Earlier.
As unfair as it is…
You’ll probably be awake before the sun while he’s leisurely eating breakfast with the guys at noon.
Start earlier than you think you need.
A relaxed morning photographs better than a rushed one every single time.
10.
Buy Two Steamers.
One for the bridesmaids’ dresses.
One for the bride’s.
You’ll lose one.
So steam the veil the night before…
Before they both disappear.
11.
Break In Your Wedding Shoes.
Inside.
Save the soles for the flat lay, not the sidewalk.
Your wedding day isn’t the time to discover they’re torture devices.
12.
Remove the Stickers From Your Shoes.
We photograph the bottoms of your shoes far more than you think.
Let’s not immortalize the barcode.
13.
Learn the Dance.
Not for your guests.
For your confidence.
Bonus points if he can spin and dip you.
Bonus BONUS points if you take a few dance lessons.
14.
Eight Hours?
You need the timeline you actually planned.
Go with ten.
15.
Go to Your Venue When It’s Raining. Go the same time as your ceremony.
Sunny days are easy.
Plan for the other ones.
16.
Order the Good Paper.
Envelope liner.
Details card.
Accommodations
RSVP Card
One complete invitation suite with a. minimum 6 – 8 pieces.
A QR code belongs on a parking meter.
Not your invitation suite.
Your future self has excellent taste.
17.
Spend More on Flowers.
I’ve never walked into a wedding and thought,
“This is way too many florals.”
18.
Get Him a Manicure.
His hands are in half your gallery.
You’re welcome.
19.
Dance.
Together.
Not one of you on the dance floor while the other disappears to the bar.
Not one of you making laps around the room saying hello.
Together.
Three songs.
Minimum.
20.
Sit Together During the Toasts.
Scoot the chairs together.
Hold hands.
Look at the person speaking.
Then look at each other.
Some of the best photographs of the day happen when you forget the camera is there.
21.
Eat.
Hungry people whine more.
Ask me how I know.
22.
Buy the Album.
Hard drives die.
23.
Buy the Parent Albums.
You might be someone’s parents one day.
You’ll understand.
In Closing,
You won’t remember what your signature cocktail tasted like.
You probably won’t remember the font you chose for the seating chart.
You definitely won’t remember whether the napkins were ivory or champagne.
You’ll remember how the room felt.
The people who filled it.
The way your partner looked at you when no one else was paying attention.
Spend the money where it changes the experience.
Protect the moments that matter.
And if you book the black & white checkered dance floor…
Know that somewhere, I’m smiling.